Monday, 23 November 2015

This one is not important

I started typing this on 16/11.
Feel like I keep saying the same thing.
From the first post to this one,
but that's what I really want to hold myself on.

It’s been forever
 Since the last time I was genuinely happy.
Seems like I am a willing loner,
So to deem the world ever lonely.

I started to regret a lot lately.

Not transferring to a better secondary school;
Not knowing how to put time in reverse;
Not willing to settle as a fool,
Not getting the fame and fulfilment that I think I deserved.

Lost, is what I am certain of.
Ordinary Joe is inevitable,
yet it is what I am trying to save myself from.
Most of all: not being weird enough.

My lack of ability to be weird enough in general,
My lack of power to leave this shit hole.
My lack of will to convey the right signal.
My lack of experience in pursuing a lifetime goal.

My thoughts are so random, and quite often, self-contradicting.
I cannot really get myself together to be productive.
Like I am always procrastinating.
I have to be more like Heathcliff.

Sometimes I do forget:
The things I have been through,
The way I have been neglected;
Sometimes I do suspect:
What am I doing?
Why am I here?
What can I do if I quit?

I haven’t done this in ages.
Having so much to say.
Feel like getting caught in cages,
Placed in where myself started to fade.

This song doesn't mean anything,
because I have no similar experience.
But it's Drake, and I like it.


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