I started
typing this on 16/11.
Feel like I keep saying the same thing.
From the first post to this one,
but that's what I really want to hold myself on.
It’s been
forever
Since the last time I was genuinely happy.
Seems like I am
a willing loner,
So to deem the
world ever lonely.
I started to
regret a lot lately.
Not
transferring to a better secondary school;
Not knowing how
to put time in reverse;
Not willing to
settle as a fool,
Not getting the
fame and fulfilment that I think I deserved.
Lost, is what I
am certain of.
Ordinary Joe is
inevitable,
yet it is what
I am trying to save myself from.
Most of all:
not being weird enough.
My lack of
ability to be weird enough in general,
My lack of power
to leave this shit hole.
My lack of will
to convey the right signal.
My lack of
experience in pursuing a lifetime goal.
My thoughts are
so random, and quite often, self-contradicting.
I cannot really
get myself together to be productive.
Like I am always
procrastinating.
I have to be
more like Heathcliff.
Sometimes I do
forget:
The things I have
been through,
The way I have
been neglected;
Sometimes I do
suspect:
What am I doing?
Why am I here?
What can I do
if I quit?
I haven’t done
this in ages.
Having so much
to say.
Feel like getting
caught in cages,
Placed in where
myself started to fade.
This song doesn't mean anything,
because I have no similar experience.
But it's Drake, and I like it.
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