#1012: Lament - Adolescent

It has started finally.

I am officially an engineering major.

Whining like a bitch does not gain me sympathy;

Mere success requires fatal endeavour.

Meeting new people everywhere at school,

People that are not necessarily interested in meeting me.

Try to fit in; try to look good; try to act cool

Just to find out intellectual communication was never the key.

Back in the days when I was still ambitious;

Back in the days when I still gave a shit;

Back in the days when I didn’t like being ridiculous;

Back in the days when I could conceive.

‘Still tryna play it cool, sound like the man’

This brings non-existing memory that I made up :

I am 16.

Mellow late summer evening sunlight

shining through the street in Japan;

sauntering down with ease.

Early autumn leaves are falling from above,

From the Elysium,

where birds sing, where wind blows.

Dress up in high school uniform.

Accompanied by an imaginary crush,

who is inclined to leave, according to my acknowledgement.

Shoulder to shoulder; hand in hand, unsolicited.

While I am infatuated by the pseudo tranquility,

her aversion does not even lurk:

Shakes my hand off with a sulky face,

And utters sternly, 'Enough with your superfluous pertness,

ere my forbearance is evaporated.'

With my mind drastically shocked,

I emancipate her hand reluctantly.

Then,

There she goes, into vague vacancy.

But it was totally anticipated.

Totally.

The aforementioned scenario never happened,

In which I hope it did or will happen.

The life that I am fond of has been broken,

For I am no longer an adolescent.

#1012