Coming
back to this.
It’s
been a month.
More
than a month actually.
I
really have to fix my problem of procrastination and time management and shit.
Tryna keep
the format and be motivated,
But meh,
not really.
Talking
about motivation,
I have
set many goals for myself,
And virtually
none of them has been achieved.
It’s 2
am and I have a choir competition tmr.
Not able
to fall asleep, and thought to myself: what a perfect time to blog.
And there
I am, right now, typing this shit.
My
throat kinda hurt, god knows why.
This is
my first time free-styling, blogging without anything specific to say.
So lemme
talk bout what’s good recently,
/
Not
much:
Been
wasting too much time on youtube
Want to
read, didn’t really read
Not studying
enough
Been seeing
some gains
Haven’t
figure out what faculty to transfer to yet (btw fuck that engineering shit,
physics ftw)
Been listening
to lots of weird songs, which I don’t really like
They just
help me think,
About
mental problem and twisted personality and some wicked shit.
That’s the
shit that keep me alive
/
This reminds
me of the concept of ownership though
There is
a good video from vsauce that talked about this.
Is any
interpersonal relationship ever fair in the first place?
It seems
everyone is some what different when interacting.
That’s
why we have to blog or keep diaries.
Also,
blogging is weird
I do
blogging is because I got chips on me shoulder
And I got
emotions that I have to share to whoever that is reading this.
So obviously
I want people to read it, otherwise I won’t fucking post it.
But at
the same time if people are reading,
I don’t
wanna share too much of my emotions
Cause with
age, there are more things that I want to keep to myself
And sometimes
real emotions would change the current situation.
So I did
not keep it 100% real. I am sorry, alright?
It’s
like a damn paradox: should I keep it real or not?
If I keep
it real, shit will be fucked up (or at least I am afraid that it will) and gets
weird.
If I don’t,
then what’s the point of blogging?
I am
kinda reading 老子 right now, tryna finish the last few pages.
His
shit is stupid, tbh.
But not
as dumb as 大學中庸
I will talk about this another day may be.
I have
been tripping over 2 things:
1. I
feel stupid around the people that I am going to Europe with
2. I
have no idea to take care of myself for 2 months in Europe
3. I don’t
wanna get rape in Europe
4. I don’t
wanna get rape anywhere, actually
5.
there is that a girl that I find cute, would it be the first time for me to
fall in love?
6. I am
excited as shit just by thinking of it.
7. I hope
she aint reading this
8. did I
say 2 things? Yeah fuck maths
jk I love
maths
I don’t
even know where am I going with this blog entry.
Sorry for
having random shit up here, it's a bit long
If anyone
is reading.
If you’re
reading this now, it’s too late.
(FYI,
it’s a Drake reference)
Shout out to my main man, Ray Ma.
congrats
It's 3 am now, so...
fuck it, I'ma sleep
this is the type of wicked shit that I talked about.
