It is my intention that not to rhythm this time.
I am not in the mood of doing that shit.
I have so many songs that I want to share.
I am typing this during lecture, so, fuck you.
What I want to share,
Is not what I shared.
Just because I tried my best to be truthful,
Does not mean that I am truthful.
To a certain extent, I am lost in words.
After the trip to North Korea,
The feeling of oblivion is never stronger.
Every fucking thing around me changed,
Without my permission,
Without my acknowledgment.
People that I called friends, places that used
to be familiar,
Even myself.
My understanding towards the ever changing world,
Does not necessarily cater me to it.
Once upon a time,
it was never a problem for me to be confident.
Depression and anxiety have not hit me since ancient
time.
Yet, they came back.
I am not aware of it until it became a problem.
I did not even I am THAT sad.
Oblivion.
This contributes to my non-stop growing loneliness
It might sound strange as fuck,
But I have come to a realization that,
My self-esteem is low.
That is mainly where my mental problem comes from.
That’s how my non-caring mind set is built.
People do not like me – I ain’t care.
I like people – I ain’t care.
I don’t even know whether I hate anybody at all.
Being the clown
over-compensates itself.
I feel old; I think old.
I don't think people like me enough;
I think I worth more;
I think my life is going no where.
But instead of making a difference,
I am wasting my fucking time on this god damn blog.
I have so many songs, so many.
